Outkasts, Lost, and an 11 year old girl.

Once again it’s Friday and another week of classes is in the rear view mirror. Yes, there has been a lag in the blog (a blag, as my brother would say) as last Friday was a holiday and faced with the decision of sitting in the office recounting a typical week’s activities or playing outside I chose the latter. To appease those who spent the last week going through a blog jones (Yes, I’m humoring myself) I’ve actually included this week… A PICTURE!!

That’s me in front of a group of students in front of a fort on a mountain in a city on a cloudy hazy day. Looking out the window as I type it’s hazy once again. While the last couple of days were beautiful by Korea standards Monday was so hazy and foggy that I couldn’t actually see the mountain across the street. The forecast for the weekend calls for… drumroll ……………………RAIN!! Anyway, that’s my weekly weather digression. The rare picture was taken during a field trip a couple of weeks back that wasn’t particularly notable so I didn’t mention it. One of the other teachers took this and it took two weeks of prodding to finally get a copy and it finally arrived this week for your viewing pleasure. With that out of the way it is now time to get down to business.

First order is to congratulate The Outkasts on their successful season. It’s going to take a while to type this paragraph as one hand is typing while the other one is patting its own back but I will manage to get through it eventually. Last Saturday was our last game where we played the Kurka-Durkastani team with an outside shot of stealing first place. Having lost our first two games of the season we had re-grouped, recruited, and roared back with five straight unbeaten with our only blemish being a previously mentioned draw against the first place Malaysian team. Having won the rest of their games, the first place squad gave us new life when they lost in unlikely fashion to INTS the second to last game of the season. Going into the final stage a loss by Malaysia and a strong victory by Outkasts would have propelled us to a shocking championship. We took care of business 4-1 but had to finish for second place after learning that the Malaysians squeaked by the team we destroyed 9-0 the previous week by a count of 2-1. Give them credit for a good season, but we wish we could play them again. I’m proud to say that this team has grown considerably since our first game together and we are confidently marching into what will be a successful future together. And, by the way, I failed to score in the last game, breaking a six game scoring streak and a perfect season where I would have scored in every game played… I’ll just forget about that and enjoy the victory.

The second order of business this week has to deal with some pop culture and a couple of things I watched this week. First I have to address the long-awaited ending of Lost. If you haven’t seen it by now, don’t worry about reading on—I am not going to give anything away. That being said, there’s really nothing to give away. The ending was just like the rest of the series: schmaltzy and emotional while leaving a ton of unanswered questions, macguffins, and red herrings. Yet despite not having every little thing about the island explained I’m not bothered with the ending. Can’t say I loved it, didn’t hate it… actually I don’t really feel anything at all. I can’t say I expected the producers of Lost to explain the origins of the universe and nature of our existence—that might be setting the bar a little high. The show throughout its history has constantly set things up that went by the wayside, abandoned storylines, and wasted time with characters that had ultimately nothing to do with the grand scheme of the expected to be ultimate, end-all, be-all ending. To expect the last episode to explain every last detail and answer every fanboy question is way beyond unrealistic. For that, the ending was sufficient in bringing closure without being overly trite or arbitrary. Yes, it was sappy and emo, but the show has always been sappy and emo so this was no shock whatsoever. As far as the unanswered questions go, I’m glad they didn’t try to explain every little thing because really, who knows all of the answers to the mysteries of life, the universe, free will, time, and love. I sure as shit am glad it’s not the producers of Lost that hold the keys. My final take: Not every little single thing happens for a reason. Sometime things just happen and can’t be explained. And if you think I’m done sermonizing just wait until I address the notable movie I watched this week…

Normally when the religious protestors are up in arms over a movie I tend to roll my eyes and think: “Lighten up, people.” However, after viewing “Kick-Ass” this week I have to admit the morality police might have a point with this one. Without going into detail on the general premise (it’s a comic book movie cross between Spiderman, Mystery Men, and Watchmen—who gives a sh*t?) I’ll focus this particular discourse on the subject of controversy: Hit Girl. Now I understand the appeal of this character to pervie comic book geeks who love the Matrix but have to wonder where the line is drawn as to what is entertainment and what is, in a sense, child pornography. I admit I didn’t dislike the movie—it was at times an entertaining, “hip” spin on your typical superhero move. However, it also must be said that there is something fundamentally disturbing about watching an 11 year old, f-bomb, c-bomb dropping girl lopping off heads and limbs with swords and knives, ruthlessly capping bad guys in the head from point blank range, and getting her face pummeled by the main villain in the final showdown. Let me repeat this part: 11 year old girl. Not being all opposed to stylized violence, I do take pause when it children are brutally stabbing men and women alike to death with complete moral impunity.

Perhaps my favorite film of last year was “Inglorious Basterds”, which while brutally violent in its own right didn’t involve children and brilliantly set up its violent scenes through escalating tension and what is in my mind the best dialogue in any movie since Pulp Fiction. I was absolutely hooked in the very first scene which consisted of two people talking at a table for ten minutes before the machine guns went off. There was a long (and most brilliant) set-up, tension, and violent climax. The violence in Kick-Ass was more the variety of the infamous Matrix scene where Neo and Trinity walk into a guarded building and mow down everyone in sight—no set up, no tension, just a couple of people walking into a building and killing everything. The problem I have is that Neo and Trinity were in a computer shooting pixels, while Hit Girl and her dad, a.k.a. Big Daddy are in New York City mowing down humans. Now I realize this is a comic book movie and didn’t take so much issue with Watchmen, another graphic blood-fest. However, the issue with me is involving a child actor in this carnage which makes me wonder where the line is when it comes to children on the big screen. As I watched this admittedly entertaining gore-orgy I had to wonder to myself throughout: When did we get to a point where this passes for entertainment? And why am I aroused?

Okay, that last line was totally a joke… couldn’t resist. And with that, I’m done sermonizing and back to being the usual smartass. It’s Friday evening now and time for me to commence another weekend that will pass in a blink and crash into Monday. Next Friday is not a holiday so I expect to see you all again real soon. Until then…

Last Minute Replacement

I hate Windows Vista. Truly hate it. Not that Vista is wholly responsible for the thousand plus words describing my hellish week with a happy ending that disappeared entirely this morning when I carried my computer from my room where I spent the evening writing to my office where I would upload my fancy words onto the blogspot but Vista sure as shit didn’t do me any favors with the recovery process. That was the longest sentence I’ve ever written and there are absolutely no commas, dashes, or parentheses.

Anyway, it’s gone. A perfectly fine Friday evening was spent conveying frustrations of what was by far my longest and most stressful week and my small triumph over bureaucracy, but alas, it’s gone. It was quite long and not one time did I begin a sentence with the word “I” and I was quite happy with my work. The long treatise also contained a recap on last Saturday’s action where the now mighty Outkasts worked hard and endured 70+ scoreless minutes against the team that handed us our last and my only loss, a 6-2 drubbing nearly two months ago just before we turned the corner. To paraphrase my lost recap: I scored off a header in the 72nd minute to break the damn. Blind squirrel found acorn. The damn exploded and we scored three more in the closing minutes to win 4-0. Spirit of elated satisfaction after game. Excited about the game this afternoon. Soccer good, fire bad.

Starting last weekend and carrying over through this week—and still lingering—was a horrible cough that seems to always be going around. It was the first week of the new term and I had four new classes during the day and new evening classes. Needing to be prepared for this I wanted nothing more than to lie in bed and even contemplated quitting my job for that opportunity Monday and Tuesday morning. Not having the energy or time (I have a game here shortly and have to go but didn’t want to leave the blog empty over the weekend) to recap my daily absurd back and forth with administration, which is explained in great detail somewhere in this universe in a floating ether pocket, I’ll say three things. 1. The evening classes were disastrous due to poor communication (imagine that), lack of any support or curriculum and general confusion. 2. Despite being sick and exhausted I worked hard this week for the first time and actually felt, dare I say, stress. 3. In one of my many meetings with admin I asked for a definitive answer to a question I posed weeks back, a carefully planted seed involving vacation.

Really long story (and last night’s story was really long—you might thank the ether for making this week’s entry mercifully shorter) short, the week ended on a happy note. Turns out the seed sprouted into a beautiful flower and I am relieved of proctor duties during finals week so I can pursue my dream of climbing Mt Fuji with my old mountaineering partner of past blogs yonder who is still in Suwon. That’s right, I’m going to Japan in July! Having talked about this for years, the omp and I will conquer Japan’s tallest thanks to timing and administration finally conceding a request. I’ve wanted to do Japan every year I’ve been in Asia and it’s always eluded me somehow but NOT THIS TIME! It only sweetens the deal that I get to share this experience with an old friend who shares my love of hiking, outdoors, and food. Can’t wait to try the sushi!

The story was so much more eloquent and lengthy last night but alas, I’m short on time and ready to kick. Before I take off I would be remiss not to mention today’s festivities and how a frustrating and exhausting week ended with victory. Today is Saturday and I actually spent the day in the office, which I never do. Last time they asked me to I just said that it’s not in my contract to work Saturday’s and they haven’t asked me to come in since. However, today being Teacher’s Day, a Korean holiday honoring…yes, teachers, I thought it would be worth hanging around and it was more than well worth it. Our ubersweet students showered us with flowers and letters and performed a show of which I took no pictures. I know, I totally suck. Having been really pissed all day and frantically searching for my lost document, this took away the sting just a little. Then when administration handed me an envelope with money in it the sting went away completely and I decided to sit down and grind something out before I head out to score goals and conquer. In summary, Vista sucks, I had a rough week, it ended really well with a Japan trip and envelope with money in it, and Outkasts are playing this evening. Have a great weekend everyone!

Days late and a picture short.

It’s not Friday, it’s Tuesday. There was a mistaken notion that last week, since there were midterms and I had no classes that there would be a plethora of time at my disposal to work on the blog but somehow it ended up being a very busy week. I have no classes this week yet here I find myself busy again… actually working. Well, sort of.

Actually last week Monday and Tuesday was a wash after falling victim once again to my strange back nerve syndrome where I make a random movement, pinch a nerve in my lower back and am crooked and in pain for three days after. This particular movement happened in warm-ups during our game last Saturday, where the surging Outkasts were poised to take on the first place and undefeated Malaysian team that had beaten the ever-living bejeezus out of us in week one, not that I was there for that. This Outkast team, which had lost 24 straight games had won their last two and was a different team than the one that lost 11-4 in the season opener.

Long story short, we didn’t win. The opposing squad was nearly two hours late to the remote location and we were looking for the forfeit as I knew I was unable to move, much less run. However, my spirited new teammates wouldn’t take the easy way out and talked me into staying, and I did, of course. Since I couldn’t afford to stop moving and endure painful back spasms I opted to play the entire 90 minutes—but I didn’t and couldn’t play particularly well since I could barely move...not sure what my excuse normally is. We went down a goal, came back and leveled. Shortly after leveling we ceded goal number two and the chase continued until the 70th minute when we finally equalized again. Like the first time when we fought so hard to even the score we quickly gave up another, going down 3-2 late in the game. After narrowly missing several hard-earned chances there was a handball in the Malaysians’ box and the referee called a penalty kick in added time. Hmmm, I wonder who would be the choice to take the shot… Yeah, it was me. 3-3 tie, top shelf, an inch away from hitting the crossbar, and there was more a massive sigh of relief that gimpy didn’t blow another one over the bar and we lose the game than a celebration. After all that I couldn’t stand up straight until Tuesday, but I guess that’s not so much a long story short.

Wednesday it rained, because we had practice during the shittiest “spring” ever and we called it off. I had spent all day working on a curriculum for my new evening class starting next week. That’s right, starting next week the party’s over. I’ll be teaching a full schedule of sixteen classes per week and two in the evenings… okay, it’s not that bad but it will require preparation, which I’m still working on, obviously. Wednesday came and went but Thursday afternoon I would have plenty of time to work on my craft [sic], or so I hoped.

Before I get to Thursday’s activities I should digress and mention what had been going on during the mornings. Though I gave no midterms I was asked to proctor the exams which meant standing in the back of a classroom for an hour with my only entertainment being the wall, the clock that didn’t move and the sound of pencils moving… buh-roo-tal! That afternoon I was asked to help the other English teacher’s grade exams and sat down for about thirty seconds before I was summoned to go see Ironman 2 with my office team. Tough call: “Hey Chris, do you want to sit here and grade these insanely tedious sections of the exam a hundred times over or would you rather go see Ironman?” “Hmmmm, gee. Let me think…”. So Thursday afternoon I saw Im 2 and can say I enjoyed it and choose not to nitpick about the typical sequel flaws. That evening I had an appointment to get a haircut and a COUGH waxing COUGH and didn’t make it back home until late after opting to meet my good friend Pam in Itaewon for food after my COUGH gay manicure COUGH. Excuse me, something in my throat.

After carefully observing the process of paint drying for 2 hours Friday morning I had lunch and discovered that the exams were not magically graded while I was watching Ironman and spent part of the afternoon grading and the latter half talking to administration about the upcoming months and working on the syllabi for my new classes. Finally, for the first time since I showed up a week after classes started in March, I got some solid answers and direction. The guidance counselor Yeon Joo, who is the person I go to when I need things and fluent in English informed me that the students like me and the A-students, whom I have not been teaching, have requested to be in my class—hence the extra hours. More importantly, it also turns out we have a five week paid break coming up in July and I am guaranteed at least ten days off!! If I am required to teach or choose to stay through the rest of the break (we’re not sure if I have to, can, or might be able to yet) I’ll get extra compensation. My evening classes coming up will nearly double my pay so I can start sending home some nice chunks of Korean won. Also I found out that there is a five week winter break as well starting January 1st. In short, this job is getting better and better.

With all of this vacation time there may even be some pictures. I saw a complaint that I wasn’t posting any and there are a couple of reasons for this. First, I am terrible about taking pictures and don’t particularly like my camera. I feel this has all been seen and done before and never was a big fan of taking pictures of people—I prefer landscapes, architecture, etc. Also the sky has been so hazy all of the time and the weather been so gloomy that I don’t want to remember this when and if it ever passes over. But secondly and more importantly I don’t want to feel I need to rely on pictures to post something new. My last blog died off after I ran out of interesting pictures to comment on and I want this to be more about my writing [sic] than photo journalism. Not to say there will never be any pictures, but most weeks my pictureless words will have to be endured. Being happy to get back into the blog business after a long hiatus, part of the purpose of this thing, other than to wildly entertain and inform, is to discipline myself to write something every week. Therefore you now have my apologies for not posting last Friday and I hope my explanation will appease your extreme anger. Until this Friday, take care everybody!