Dreary and Happy: A Rant and a Random Note

Big shock. It’s raining outside. It’s rainy, cold, and as shitty as it’s been nearly every day I’ve been here. Why is it so shitty outside? Because I have something to do, that’s why. Today I have soccer practice for the third Wednesday in a row. The first practice it snowed, the second week it was forty degrees, and today… of course. When it isn’t raining or snowing here there is a yellow dust storm that makes the snow, cold, and rain seem like paradise comparably. What the h-e-double hockey sticks??? It will be April tomorrow and I have seen one sunny day in over three weeks. That was Sunday and it got up to a whopping 55 degrees. The extended forecast for the next week: cold and cloudy with a high of 14 degrees Celsius. Now I don’t know what this Celsius business means but I know what it doesn’t mean: It doesn’t mean it’s going to be warm!!! I’m starting to think that my plane crashed in the ocean and I’m in purgatory, where it’s spring but never warm and never nice. It’s cold and dreary every single morning I wake up and frankly (in case you didn’t notice) it’s making me batshit crazy. I’m really beginning to wonder if spring will ever arrive, because I haven’t seen the slightest hint of it yet.
Okay, sorry I had to rant and get that off my chest…
It’s not all bad here besides having the shittiest March weather of all time. Actually, things are going quite well. Last week was my birthday and the principal bought a big lavish cake. He called me into the teachers room and all the teachers were gathered around the cake to sing “Happy birthday”. It was very sweet, flattering, embarrassing, and creepy all at the same time. My best birthday present came a week later however when my bike arrived from Pohang.
I had bought my bike in 2006 after visiting Gyeongju, where I rented a bike and rode around the city for two days (see http://suwonteacher.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html). After returning to Suwon I had taken out a large sum of money from my bank to take to the exchange bank to transfer to my American account. On the way to the bank, large sum of cash on hand, I passed a bike shop, stopped, turned back, walked in and bought the Falcon. Now I should say that I blew a ton of money foolishly in my first tenure in Korea but this bike was a huge exception. In the long run the bike paid for itself several times over in the money I saved on taxis, not to mention the exercise it provided. When I went home I left her behind and it became one of the biggest, if not the biggest, regrets I had about leaving Korea.
Thankfully, I left her with Tom, my neighbor, co-worker, goalie, and friend. In the time that I had been away Tom stayed in Korea but moved far south to Pohang, where he left the bike after he moved back to Seoul, just a few weeks ago. Well, bless Tom’s fuzzy warm heart for agreeing to have the bike shipped back north to my school. He contacted the person he left the bike with and I eagerly awaited my bike’s arrival for the last ten days. Ideally, it would have been here on my birthday, yet ideally it wouldn’t snow four times in March either. Finally, two days ago I got a phone call from a random Korean and knew that was the delivery driver. The Falcon arrived at 1:00 Monday afternoon, filthy from the yellow dust and her tires were flat. That evening I took her down to the bike shop and had them clean and tune her up. Now she is as radiant and beautiful as ever and I can’t wait to take her down to the Han River Park on Sunday. What do you want to bet the weather is going to suck that day?

It’s Friday, week 2. Just taught first period and have my next class at 2:00. First period is at 8:00 by the way. So I have the next five hours to come up with a lesson plan for my next class.

Wait, got it. Done.

Now what do I do to kill time at my desk? Yesterday I watched Lost when I wasn’t downloading music or chatting with friends. Now I’m slaving away on the blog while simultaneously chatting with my old buddy Hoki, a carry-over from the Suwonville days. This work schedule of 8-5 Monday through Friday with 12 classes a week is a nice change from the old grind of the hogwan.

Not that the hogwan I worked at was a difficult job—far from it. Our American boss, Haji, saw to it that my job was as easy and stress free as possible compared to other academies. For those not in the know hogwans are private after-school academies where native English speaking trained monkeys “teach English” to children of various ages, abilities, and levels of interest. I had run the gauntlet of teaching small kids abc’s to teaching adults business English. Some classes were rewarding, some challenging, some ridiculous and others downright infuriating.

The crux of the hogwan position is the fact that the students (or in most cases, their parents) are paying customers and there is always pressure to entertain so as not to draw complaints. While Talkster (the uber-gay name that Haji gave our academy in Suwon) was relatively supportive of the teachers and tended to take their side there was still a touch of the pins and needles sensation of needing to please the unpleasable. Some students just didn’t want to be there and weren’t going to learn English no matter what. At too many academies these students can go home and complain to their parents, who are paying for the services of a foreigner force-feeding their unwilling child English. Too often the hogwan owner (the person making money from the paying customers) takes the side of the unhappy student. As for me, my complaint department was located a couple of feet south of my face around the corner.

It feels good to not teach for a business these days. Yes, I’m sure I can and will find something about this gig that gets my proverbial goat but I won’t have to worry about motivation from the students or complaints from parents. One, the students went through a rigorous application process to get the opportunity to study here thus they are very serious and driven to succeed. Two, the students live in dormitories here and rarely see their parents. Our mission is education here, not making a buck. After all, we’re funded by one of the biggest banks in Korea so money is not a big concern. And if a student is unhappy and wants to leave there will be another eager to take his or her spot.

Earlier I mentioned the grind of the hogwan. Typically I worked 5-6 hours every evening Monday through Friday which is a light load for most academies. These hours consisted of teaching consecutive classes of various levels with ten minute breaks between. Along with several other teachers we would finish at 9:00 and typically get dinner and drinks. This devolved into a cycle of staying up until 3am or later most evenings and sleeping until 1 the next day. After a few years of this my health had spiraled to a point where, well, basically I had turned into a big fat f**k. I had decided that if I ever returned to Korea, and when I left that was a HUGE if, I wanted to work a normal schedule where I have evenings off and work in the mornings to keep me out of trouble during the week.

Well, I did return… to the surprise of most of my friends. I got the schedule I wanted and so far, so good. Yes, it’s a little boring going to bed before 11 every evening but boring these days is good. As Frankenstein so eloquently put one time: “Boring GOOD. Fire BAD.” I still have the weekends to stir up trouble and find things of interest around Seoul. I have already found a new soccer team (more on that later, of course) and will get my old bike back soon. Spring will eventually arrive and there will be pictures and much rejoicing.

It is now 1:45 and nearly time for my second and last class of the day. For those keeping score, that’s eight hours and two classes. If I slack on the blog this time around you all have my permission to fly to Korea and smack me over the head with a big stinky fish, which can be purchased at the outdoor market right down the street. Being in the situation I’m in now, I’m not afraid of that happening any time soon. Until next time, my four readers…

Spring Cleaning

Cobwebs.

Once I wrote and it was easy. There was a blog and it was reasonably entertaining and enjoyed by many (figuratively speaking) on the other side of the world. It was a regular occurrence, this blog. Some looked forward to it, some left comments, some glanced at the pictures and moved on, but all were puzzled when it mysteriously ceased to exist.

Why?

What happened to the Suwonteacher and why did he disappear? Where the hell did he go? Why the hell am I referring to myself in the third person? And what the hell do cobwebs have to do with anything?

Well, I’ll answer the latter question presently, but the formers will be answered in time… or forgotten about altogether. BLANK. My head goes through phases where I blank out completely now. There are small remnants of sharp, clear thinking that is required for writing, yet they are buried beneath the ummmmmm, cobwebs? When something sits for so long without being used it is bound to gather dust so now it is time to clean out the attic and get to work.
But, wait a second… I am at work. I’m sitting at my office desk. I just glanced out the window and there’s a snow-covered mountain outside. This office is clean, new, and state-of-the-art. I’m the only foreigner in the entire facility—and it’s a HUGE facility. I’m still in a daze, waiting to wake up from this weird dream. Did I just say snow-covered mountain? It’s MARCH! I must be dreaming, because one year ago I said I would never return to Korea. Whether this is a dream or not, there is no doubt about this: I am definitely back in Korea… and happy about it.

The daze set in again. It comes in waves and overwhelms at times. I can’t attribute this particular daze to the cobwebs, however. [BLANK STARE. BLINK BLINK] This particular brain cloud is a product of being two days removed from a journey that started at 3:45am Saturday morning in St Louis and ended up in Seoul, South Korea three airports and 26 hours later. Arrival time at Hana Academy Seoul: Sunday 8:45pm. First class: Monday 10am. I hate to use the words “brutal” and “merciless” but [BLINK BLINK] ummmmmmmm…. Forgot what I was saying...

The saving grace for me the first couple of days was the students and teachers, who are amazing, and the facilities--even better. This particular high school is privately owned and operated by Hana Bank and is very exclusive. The students had to apply and for every one accepted seven and one half were rejected. I kinda feel sorry for the ones that were chopped in half—poor dumb dead bastards. The students that made the cut (nothing to do with the last sentence) did so because they have talent and are serious about their studies. The facilities here are first-class and the school is nestled on the north side of Bukhansan (san=mountain.) There are windows everywhere and a beautiful mountain view in nearly every room. Having these things, I didn’t mind the jet-lag so much and made it through my first day of classes unscathed.

The second day came and went with more of the same. I woke up and the mountain was outside my window. I went to class and the students were great. I started an afternoon class where I tutor other teachers who aren’t as strong in English and am enjoying our interaction. The faculty overall have been extremely friendly and I’ve enjoyed dining with them in the cafeteria, where they provide three meals a day (Two, actually. I do a protein shake for breakfast.).

Have I landed in some sort of teaching Utopia?? No. I’ve landed in Korea. There will be challenges this year and I’m sure there will be times where my patience will be pushed to the limits. However, I am way ahead of where I was the first go-around and light years away from my dank, crummy apartment in Suwon. And most importantly, I’ve begun to dust off the cobwebs.